#19: Our best responses to "when are you having kids"
not today, aunt Linda
Happy Friday!
We’ve officially entered that stretch of the year where our inboxes are full of flight confirmations, where we’ve suddenly remembered we promised to bring a side dish, and where we’re mentally preparing to answer questions we never asked to be asked. It’s the season.
And for those who have pockets full of pregnancy tests and our therapist on speed dial, the dreaded “when are you having kids?” question hits differently. We know it’s coming. We know who will ask it. We know exactly which chair they’ll be sitting in.
So we thought we’d show up for each other a little in today’s newsletter with five real, usable, Fried Eggs-approved responses you can keep in your back pocket (with the pregnancy test) — perfect for getting you through Thanksgiving without flipping the table. Unless you want to. In which case… live your truth.
1. Tell it like it is
We’re doing IVF, so let’s just say it. It’s a wild ride, and we don’t have to pretend it’s not happening, ya know? Option one is to acknowledge the struggle and keep it real. We’re not hiding but we’re also diving into allllll the details (at least not before we have a cocktail). We are basically signaling that we’re open to talk but not in need of a pity party.
2. Bring a bodyguard
This is the one where we’ll have our husbands or siblings or BFFs swoop in. The second Aunt Linda asks, they’re on it, changing the subject faster than we can say “pass the menopur.” It’s like having a personal bodyguard for our eggies, fried as they may be. Problem solved.
3. Shut that sh*t down
Or maybe we’ll just act like we didn’t hear the question? No need for a long response, just a playful “Huh? Did you just ask that?” or “I must’ve misheard over my inner voice screaming ‘not today.’” Shut it down without the drama.
4. Keep it short and spicy
Depending on our mood and whether or not we’re hangry, we may also keep it simple: “Thanks for asking but I’d rather not talk about that.” Done. It’s clear, direct, and doesn’t invite more questions. Boundaries set. Conversation closed.
5. Charge a fee for answers
Our personal favorite: “Well, once I get the next round of IVF funded, I’ll let you know. Actually, do you want to contribute? Checks are welcome.” It’s slightly sarcastic and highlights the insane cost of IVF (plus raises awareness, heyo). And hey who knows, maybe a rich relative will venmo you some cash?
Sass aside, we know this season can feel heavy. Family is complicated. Fertility is complicated. Being a woman is complicated. Protect your peace at the table this year.
Whether you’re trying, pausing, waiting, healing, hoping, or just staying afloat: we love you, we’re proud of you, and we’re right here with you.
xo Amy and Kayti
New episode:
We’re crying, we’re laughing, and we’re surviving the holidays without losing it. Amy’s egg retrieval got canceled (spoiler: insurance companies can kick rocks), and we’re talking getting lapped by friends with pregnancy announcements, plus all the messy emotions infertility brings. We get real about feeling left behind, share how we find small joys, practice self-care, binge our favorite holiday movies, and lean on each other (and you!) to get through it.
And if you’re not already subscribed on Apple + Spotify, hit that follow button so you don’t miss new episodes!
Small ‘j’ joys 💜:
these fun experience gift ideas for friends
the harvest salad we’re making for thanksgiving
do we need this crewneck for holiday watch parties? (the answer is yes)
I think we’ve finally found the best supplement/med organizer
weekend mood:
